Wow, I forgot I had a blog. Such a shame that I've let it go unnoticed for such a long time. One reason could be because it doesn't have any readers, which is fair enough given that my last update was years ago. Anyhoo, I thought that since I've graduated, I might as well keep a diary of my thoughts and "feelings" for the internet to read and for some people to laugh at. Honestly, I don't mind people laughing.
One philosophical question has popped into my mind recently. The question of self. Now, this is a big topic and what philosopher/thinker/crazy person haven't thought about it? Lots of answers to the question of "What/who/why am I?" but still no definitive. Of course you can Google "define: self" and it pops up with multiple answers, from Jung to the car called Self (wiki it, you'll see what I mean). But can Google or books tell you what you are? After a bit of thought, I come up with several definitions of what I am.
1. I am myself
So what does this mean? I define myself as myself. Yes, you read that right. I am myself through my own actions, thoughts and physical presence. If I make a cake, that action of making the cake will define part of me: I like cake. If I decide to think about what I want to do tomorrow, that thought will define part of me: I plan ahead. If I decide to go to London, my physical presence at that location will define part of what I am: I am occupying an area/volume of space. Each aspect of myself will define what I am and as I accumulate other actions, thoughts and physical presence, I become whole and thus, attain a definition of myself through those criterion. But this may be true for the case of myself in a closed environment without any interaction from others. Of course, as an individual, I gleam aspects of other people's 'self' as I go through life. This is called learning. From my parents teaching me how to use eating utensils to emulating "Jackass" stunts in your living room despite the warnings. Without these influences, I would not be able to form actions or thoughts (physical presence does not apply because anyone can occupy space no matter their capabilities). From this way method of deduction, I could be the accumulation of copied behaviour and thought processes that come from mt parents, friends and external influences. This leads me onto my next definition...
2. I am accumulation of external factors
This means that I am the accumulation of information and knowledge gained through interaction from external sources. I learnt how to write from school, my tastes in food can stem from what I ate as a baby, my short-sightedness may be hereditary etc. As an accumulation of so many factors, I become who I am today through these little influences. There are aspects of myself, such as personality, behaviour and innovative thought that cannot be explained through pure accumulation, but people like Marie Curie, John Nash and Bill Gates all were accomplished innovators and inventors of new methods, ways of thinking and physical items, had some kind of influence on them and allowing them to develop a new way to define themselves. With this method of self-definition, the self is all that is around me, and my own thoughts are nothing more than the cumulation of the external factors, creating a situation where individuality is the the different combinations of external factors. However, when I look at people, I find that individuals may define themselves differently when in the presence of others. For example, my behaviour when with my parents are wildly different to that of when I am with my friends, or my behaviour when speaking to one person to that when speaking to a large group of people. This will be true to everyone (bar a few). So why do I, or others do this? Could it be the case that I am very concious about what others think about me? Thus, I come to the next definition...
3. I am what others make of me
When I interact with another individual, I make an impression on them. Job seekers are often told that first impressions are crucial, and will make or break a job offer. For example, if a person is easily distracted and can often annoy others, they will not reveal that to the interview nor will they reveal that aspect of themselves to others until about 2 weeks on the job. In a multi-individual world, I can define different aspects of myself through what others say I am. Some say that I am friendly and eager to help, others could say that I can be cluttered and chatty. These definitions, as the external factors, create a whole, where the different aspects of my personality, behaviour and actions that others see me becomes the definition of myself. This begs the question: What if no one has an opinion of me? What if no one has any idea what I am? In real life, we see that when one person becomes isolated from society and becomes unknown, they can sometimes disappear. If I had no friends or made no contact with the outside world, I will disappear. This then leads back to my definition of "I am myself", where in a world where you are alone, you are what you do and behave. But what of your own factors? What of your influences on others? When you talk to someone, you are invariably passing on information to them. Therefore...
4. I am what I pass on
This is the final definition of myself that I will do in this post, I promise! People talk about their children being their legacy. Beyond the continuous propagation of that person's DNA, they may wish to give that child values, pass on their knowledge or a business empire. These things that an individual can pass onto others is the cumulation of the external influences upon them and own innovations. This is a twist on the what others define me as, because I now am defining myself on the aspects of myself that I give to others and what they retain. If another person can retain part of the information that I have given them, be it an impression or change in their own personality, then those minor changes when accumulated together will form a self-portrait of me as an individual, much like this blog making an impression on you.
Well, this essay as been something that I've been thinking about for the past months. I'm sure that people have written about this already, but I haven't read their books (apologies). You may have your own way of understanding what you are and what makes up yourself, and I'd be interested in hearing about your views. This is given that I have readers, 
